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  For my children, Ava, Deacon, and Tennessee.

  I hope they always think of me when they hear a Dolly Parton song.

  * * *

  And for my grandmother Dorothea and grandfather Jimmy.

  Thanks to you, I’m a good friend and a good cook, and I never wear sweatpants on airplanes.

  INTRODUCTION

  Whiskey in a Teacup

  In my late twenties, I found myself facing some hard choices. I’d enjoyed a great deal of success in movies, but personally, I was at a crossroads. I didn’t know where I was going to find the strength to pick a path. One particularly rough day, I found myself looking out at a room full of men who were asking me about a decision that needed to be made. One of them said: “How do you want to handle this?”

  I paused to think. Then suddenly a light went on. I sat up straight, lifted my chin, and said, “Well, I’m a lady, and I’m going to handle it like a lady.”

  Where did that voice come from? I wondered.

  I’d never said those words out loud before. (Men in that room told me they’d never heard anyone say them before, either!) But in my voice that day, I heard all the women I knew growing up in the South—women for whom being a southern lady was a source of confidence and strength in times of trial and a source of joy in good times.

  On that day, I especially heard the voice of my grandmother Dorothea.

  Dorothea was smart, ambitious, and brave. She had a degree in education from Tennessee Tech and a master’s from Peabody College at Vanderbilt University, one of the first such degrees ever earned there by a woman. A firm believer in women’s rights and civil rights, Dorothea had a brilliant academic mind and she dreamed of traveling the world. But because of the times, she found her choices limited and ended up becoming a first-grade teacher at a local school. She never did get to see the world as she’d hoped.

  Still, she maintained exquisite poise throughout her life, opposed injustice wherever she found it, and commanded everyone’s esteem and attention—especially mine. She was at once tough and beautiful. She could make you feel infinitely welcome but also let you know when you’d pushed her too far. She was impeccably mannered, but she loved to see a whole mess of neighbors, their kids, and random pets tearing across the lawn. To me, she was the epitome of southern womanhood.

  Dorothea always said that it was a combination of beauty and strength that made southern women “whiskey in a teacup.” We may be delicate and ornamental on the outside, she said, but inside we’re strong and fiery. Our famous hospitality isn’t martyrdom; it’s modeling. True southern women treat everyone the way we want to be treated: with grace and respect—no matter where they come from or how different from you they may be. Dorothea taught me to never abide cruelty or injustice. The Golden Rule, she said, applies to everyone.

  My mother, too, taught me this by example. I visited her when she was teaching at Tennessee State University (known best, perhaps, as the place where Oprah got her journalism degree in 1986), and there I got to know the powerful black women with whom she worked. They did not tolerate disrespect or discrimination, and they organized to make sure they were heard. They taught me that things only get better for everyone when all voices are at the table.

  Doesn’t my grandmother Dorothea look like a ’30s movie star?

  LEFT TO RIGHT My parents on their wedding day and with me growing up.

  Back then as a young woman, and now as a mother and female entrepreneur, I’ve taken to heart their call to change the story by changing the storytellers. I think about that so often as I grow my companies, try to teach my children to hold good values, and as I strive to tell the untold stories in work I produce.

  To me, southern womanhood is about both the teacup and the whiskey—the music and the manners, the hospitality and the fight for fairness. Some people think that caring about “silly” things like cooking or fashion is mutually exclusive with “serious” politics. But my mother and grandmother and their friends taught me that finding pleasure at home—whether in a family dinner or a book club or a backyard barbecue—can give us the strength to go out into the world and do incredible things.

  This book is intended as a tribute to the diverse group of awe-inspiring southern women who I grew up admiring. These were women who always looked elegant and put-together and were quick with a warm smile, but who were also the undisputed bosses at their places of business and in their homes. For them, southern hospitality meant extending a hand to everyone—whether a party guest who seemed left out or someone in the community who needed help or a young person at work who needed mentoring.

  LEFT TO RIGHT My grandmother Dorothea loved seeing me and my brother, John, dressed up. My grandfather Jimmy approved of overalls.

  When I was a little girl in pigtails and Coke-bottle glasses, listening to Dolly Parton cassette tapes and watching 90210 and Designing Women, I imagined that when I one day left the South, I would see the world and do important things. When I told a teacher that I aspired to be the first woman president, she said, “I’ll be the first one to vote for you, Reesey!”

  Well, I didn’t become president (nor, alas, did I achieve another early goal: marrying Willie Nelson), but I did become president of a production company that makes movies and TV shows with strong female characters. And I have traveled all around the world, to places I never dreamed I’d go. In a lot of ways, I’m living out my grandmother’s dreams. She couldn’t do so many of the things I get to do, so I don’t take these opportunities for granted for one second. And I do everything I can to make sure those opportunities are there for my daughter and for other young women.

  Still, now that I’ve seen the world, you know where I’m happiest?

  In the South. In Nashville. Surrounded by friends. Listening to country music. A glass of sweet tea in one hand and a barbecue sandwich in the other. I’ve learned to appreciate so much about my childhood—from the lessons I learned about treating people fairly to the way I was taught to tend a garden and bake a casserole. Back when I was younger, I fought to lose my accent. But today I’m so proud of where I’m from.

  Unfortunately, I have to be in other places an awful lot of the time. But luckily, over the years I’ve found ways to conjure up the South’s spirit wherever I happen to be. I take the South everywhere I go, with bluegrass, big holiday parties, and plenty of Dorothea’s fried chicken.

  It’s become sort of an obsession of mine, spreading the gospel of southern living. My southern heritage informs my whole life—how I value generosity, how I decorate my house, and how I make holidays special for my kids—not to mention how I talk, dance, and do my hair (in these pages, you will learn my fail-proof, only slightly insane hot-roller technique).

  I’ll share Dorothea’s most delicious recipes, and you’ll hear about my favorite southern traditions, from midnight barn parties to backyard bridal showers, from magical Christmas mornings to rollicking honky-tonks.

  That said, if you are looking for a how-to, self-help bible . . . this ain’t it. I love a good party, but I don’t have a ton of free time, so when it comes to shortcuts and good-enough-ing, I have been there and store-bought that.

  What I can promise is that you’ll see how I keep my home, how I entertain, and just how m
uch fried food I eat. And you’ll see how easy it is for you to bring a little bit of the South home, no matter where you live. After all, there’s a southern side of everywhere in the world, right?

  I hope you are sitting somewhere comfy so you can curl up and enjoy this book!

  CHAPTER 1

  The Magic of Sweet Tea

  One thing about life in the South: people drop by. And it’s the law of the land that if someone shows up at your door, you have to offer them something to eat or drink. At the very least, you have to serve them a glass of ice-cold sweet tea.

  Every day, before my grandmother Dorothea did just about anything else, she would fill a big jar with tea bags and fresh water and set it on the back porch in the sunshine. The tea would sit there all day brewing. When the sun had done its job, Dorothea would take the jar inside, stir in some sugar and ice, and set it out for us in a pitcher. She called it sun tea, and we drank it with every meal. It is the world’s best pairing with country-fried steak and collard greens.

  When I moved to California, I was homesick, so I started having friends over for dinner, trying to bring the spirit of those back-porch meals to Hollywood. And in preparation for those meals, I would always make my grandma’s sweet tea. Sweet tea reminds me of the South . . . with a capital S. It takes me back to those days spent running barefoot around the backyard, catching lightning bugs with my hands. It reminds me of leisurely meals with family and friends, listening to chatter about the neighborhood. I was delighted to learn during my early days in California that, with the right food and company, it can be just as much fun gossiping in a Hollywood living room as it was on a screened-in porch back home.

  MENU

  summer on the porch

  * * *

  If I give you a recipe, you know you’re a friend of mine. And no recipes are closer to my heart than my grandmother’s tea recipes. Here they are, plus some snacks to go with them!

  * * *

  Dorothea’s Sun Tea & Tea Punch

  Pecan-Crusted Chicken Skewers

  Vegetable Plate-in-a-Jar

  Frozen Fruit Salad

  MAKES 1 GALLON TEA AND 11/4 CUPS SIMPLE SYRUP

  Dorothea’s Sun Tea

  * * *

  8 black teabags, such as orange pekoe

  1 gallon water

  FOR THE SIMPLE SYRUP

  1 cup sugar

  1 cup water

  * * *

  1. Place the teabags in a gallon-sized Mason jar and fill with water, letting the tags hang over the lip of the jar. Top with the lid and screw on the ring. Set the jar in a sunny spot outdoors. Let brew for 4 hours.

  2. While the tea brews, prepare the simple syrup: Bring the sugar and water to a boil in a small saucepan, stirring until the sugar has dissolved. Remove from the heat and let cool. The syrup may be stored in the refrigerator, tightly sealed, for up to 1 month. Serve syrup on the side so guests can sweeten their tea to taste.

  SERVES 4

  Dorothea’s Tea Punch

  * * *

  Sun Tea is as easy as it gets. And it’s a great base for making other refreshing drinks. My grandmother’s Tea Punch is always a big hit, especially when it’s hot outside and you can barely eat anything, which is a lot of days in the South. For Christmas, I’ll often give friends Mason jars with a delicious brand of tea and my tea punch recipe inside.

  * * *

  Sun Tea

  Lemonade

  Orange juice

  Cinnamon

  Sprig of mint

  Vodka (optional)

  * * *

  1. Mix equal parts Sun Tea, lemonade, and orange juice.

  2. Throw in a dash of cinnamon and a sprig of mint.

  3. Serve over a lot of ice.

  OPTIONAL (unless I’ve had a really long day—in which case, mandatory): Spike with vodka.

  SERVES 4

  Pecan-Crusted Chicken Skewers

  * * *

  This is a nice light snack for a summer night. Kids love these.

  * * *

  8 chicken tenders

  Kosher salt

  Freshly ground black pepper

  1/2 cup mayonnaise

  2 tablespoons grainy Dijon mustard

  1/2 cup finely chopped pecans

  1/2 cup panko bread crumbs

  1/4 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese

  * * *

  1. Rinse the chicken and pat it dry. Season with salt and pepper. Arrange a rack on a baking sheet and set aside.

  2. Stir together the mayonnaise and mustard in a wide, shallow bowl. Combine the pecans, bread crumbs, and Parmesan in a separate wide, shallow bowl.

  3. Coat the chicken in the mayo mixture and then roll in the crumb mixture to thoroughly coat. When all the tenders are breaded, place them on the rack and put the whole pan in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

  4. Preheat the oven to 400°F. Bake the chicken on the rack over the pan in the preheated oven for 15 to 20 minutes. Serve immediately, at room temperature, or chilled (though they won’t be as crispy). Skewer for easy eating.

  SERVES 4

  Vegetable Plate-in-a-Jar

  * * *

  There’s nothing quite as cheerful as a bunch of freshly picked farm-stand vegetables marinated in a Mason jar.

  * * *

  FOR THE VINAIGRETTE

  1 small shallot, minced

  Pinch of kosher salt

  Freshly ground black pepper

  3 tablespoons red wine vinegar

  1/3 cup olive oil

  1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil

  FOR THE SALAD

  2 cups shredded romaine hearts

  1 cup diced yellow bell pepper

  1 cup halved cherry tomatoes

  1 cup cooked peas (English, lady, pink-eyed, or crowder)

  1 cup diced celery

  1/2 cup sliced scallions

  1/2 cup feta cheese, crumbled

  * * *

  1. Combine the shallot, salt, pepper, and vinegar in a small jar. Set aside for 10 minutes to allow the shallots to soften and flavor the vinegar. Add the oil and basil. Place the lid on the jar and shake vigorously to emulsify the dressing. Set aside.

  2. Prepare the layered salads by dividing the ingredients evenly among 4 pint-sized jars. Place 1/2 cup lettuce in each jar and top with the bell peppers, tomatoes, peas, celery, scallions, and feta. Drizzle 2 tablespoons of the vinaigrette over ingredients in each jar. Top with a tight-fitting lid and gently turn each jar over a few times to distribute the dressing without displacing the layers. Refrigerate up to 2 hours before serving.

  SERVES 10

  Frozen Fruit Salad

  * * *

  The ladies at the Picnic Cafe in Nashville serve this. It might sound weird, but I promise it’s the most delicious simple dessert you’ve ever tasted—and wonderfully refreshing on a hot day.

  * * *

  1 pint fresh strawberries, diced

  6 ounces (3/4 cup) sweetened condensed milk

  1 medium can pineapple tidbits

  2 bananas, chopped

  2 cups whipped topping, plus extra for serving

  Sprig of fresh mint

  * * *

  1. Combine the strawberries and milk in a blender and puree until smooth.

  2. Remove the pitcher from the blender and stir in the pineapple, bananas, and whipped topping (do not blend).

  3. Pour the mixture into ten 4-ounce jars and freeze overnight. To serve, top with a dollop of whipped topping and a mint leaf.

  CHAPTER 2

  Wicker & Wallpaper

  I grew up in a neighborhood full of beautiful old Nashville homes with big white-brick facades and generous wraparound porches. There were sweeping lawns and manicured hedges, columned verandas made inviting with big white rocking chairs. Honeysuckle and kudzu crept up lampposts.

  We spent a lot of time on those porches, which often featured swings we could sit in for hours. Some also had daybeds, which I always found so quintessentially southern: during the day guest
s could nap on them, and at night kids could camp out and sleep in the cool night air. That’s what I picture when I think about southern homes: lots of porches—and of course ceiling fans everywhere. It’s hot, y’all.

  I was born close to the Garden District in New Orleans, so I have always had an affinity for that area. I could walk around for hours and look at the gardens. I love Charleston, too, where the architecture and the colors are so gorgeous and not like anywhere else in the world. Wavy old glass windows decorate the beautiful candy-colored buildings that sit side by side on the cobblestone streets. Southern charm at its best.

  In Nashville, it’s not uncommon for a family to live in a home for four generations or more. Many of my friends’ homes were their grandparents’. And traditions are maintained. My grandma grew up with peonies, and when she made her own home, she planted her own beds of the glorious perennials. My brother and sister-in-law live there now, and those peonies are still blooming! It makes me so happy that their children live in a house my grandparents built.

  Peonies and old family photos decorate my mantelpiece. And on the wall is a beautiful Harry Benson photograph of Dolly Parton given to me by one of my very best friends.